Mistakes That Leads Marriage To Divorce

In our country, we assume marriage is an institution where you are not supposed to drop it in the middle. It is the bond for your lifetime. You relate this relationship with the new relationship between two families and three generations. But, there are things, which can make this beautiful relationship complicated and even worse. One should avoid such things and issues in life to make this relationship work throughout your life. Here are a few mistakes you should never make in your first year of marriage:

Having unrealistic expectations: Having expectations in any relationship is good sign that you want to grow in it and live it. But, having unrealistic expectations from your marriage can ruin your relationship. You should always remember that you should love and respect your spouse and it helps in strengthening your relationship. But, one more thing that is really important for marriage is acceptance. If you expect realistic things in your relationship, share, communicate and accept that you are not always on a cakewalk, there will be hard time as well.

Taking things too casually: If you are too comfortable in your relationship that is good. But, if you have started taking it too casually, then you are on wrong path. You should never take this relationship too casual. Pay attention to your partner’s words, requirements and his/her needs. If you are ignoring him/her frequently, not paying much attention to all small and big things, then get ready to face the consequences.

Involving your parents in your clashes: It is not suggested to involve your parents in all arguments of husband-wife. It is good to seek their advice whenever required, but their involvement in all matters will affect the freedom of your relationship. Be enough strong to make your decisions and stand for yourself and for your spouse or life partner.

Interfering too much into each-others life: Every relationship needs some time and it is the same with marriage as well. You need to give some time and space to this important relationship. At times, it is important to give some space and me-time in this relationship. It is good if you take small separate vacations to make your relationship bliss. You must show trust in your partner and give him/her some freedom as well. Interfering too much into each-other’s life and asking too many questions and spying can worse situation.

Being too fearful to share your feeling: If you are too fearful to share your feelings with your spouse, then there is something wrong in your relationship. Your spouse should be like your best friend. You should never feel bad or should not have negative feeling in your mind while sharing your feelings with your spouse. Being too scared to share your feeling with your spouse is a negative sign.

Expecting your partner Jack of all traits: This is another thing we expect from our partner to be Jack of all traits. We want our partner to be a good listener, healer, fixer, cleaner, dryer, washer, and much more than that. These kinds of expectations and thinking that he/she knows all can increase the burden of your spouse to put more efforts then required in your relationship.

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How to Convince Your Parents for Your Inter-Caste Marriage

Getting married to the love of your life is a great feeling, but if your parents are against your decision in that case what will you do? In India, most of the people believe and support arranged marriage and they strongly oppose the concept of love marriage. People in India believe that a relationship is something that should be negotiated between two families of the same caste. But, it is not always possible that you will find someone whom you love within your community. People still accept the love marriage within the community, but an inter-caste marriage is total taboo in India. With the changing trends and changed lifestyle more and more people are finding their love outside their caste. In that situation when you know the whole world will be against your decision, what will you do to convince your parents? The most important thing in inter-caste marriage is you should strongly believe in your decision. Before telling this to your parents, you should be well prepared about all type of questions and negative remarks as well. Once you review or thought about answers for all possible questions or concerns your parents might have and find out the possible answers, you can easily counter argument for each.

First Discuss This With Some Close Family Friend Or Relative: If you are really serious about your relationship and you want to marry him/her then first discuss about your relationship to someone close to your parents and family. It may be your younger or elder brother or sister, uncle, grandparents, uncle, aunty or friend of you father or mother. So, first of all observe your family members and find out that supporter. Once you find that person and sure about that you can share your secret and he/she will help you out in this matter, then without delay share about your relationship. That person can play a very crucial role in convincing your parents as per your needs. 

Start Giving Direct And Indirect Hints:  Once you identify the right person to share your secretive relation then take the next step by giving direct or indirect hints to your parents. This is the second and most important move. Start giving hints to your parents about your relationship. You can tell them that now you are ready for marriage. You can make them understand what exactly you are feeling and what are your expectations? You should also tell them why you are in favor of love marriage and that you are not very much convinced with arranged marriage. You should tell your opinion to your parents. If your parents are not that liberal in that case start giving them some clues about your relationship so that when you actually tell them about your relationship they will not be in a shocking situation.  

Introduce Your Parents To Your Partner At Some Public Gathering: This is another bold and important step you should take to make your parents aware about your relationship. It will help them to realize that there is someone in your life and you really want to marry him/her. Before fixing their meeting, it is always better that you tell your parents about your girlfriend/boyfriend in advance. Tell them about his/her family background, education and other important information to create a good image. 

Start Indicating That He/She Is Not Just A ‘Good Friend’:  Once you introduce your parents, intentionally do some things that can grab their attention and make them understand that the girl/boy holds a special place in your life. They should get this message that there is something serious between you two. Don’t miss a single chance to tell your parents about his/her qualities and family background and other important things. Take advantage of the situation and don’t hesitate to tell your parents about the values and positive things about your partner. 

Find The Right Time To Tell Them Upfront: There are chances that after your indirect hints and disclosure your parents might ask you about this relationship. But, if that doesn’t happen then find the right time and appropriate time to tell your parents about your relationship. Think about a time when your parents are in good mood and listen to you calmly. It is even better if you ask the person to whom you have already discussed about your relationship to come at your home when you disclose this. It is better to keep your support with you at the time of conversation. 

Stay Firm To Your Decision: If you have any doubt about your relationship or about the future of your relationship then take some more time to evaluate the things. But, if you are 100% sure about your relationship and its future, then talk to your parents and tell them about your decision. Get ready to listen to a lot of negative and not so good things about inter-caste love marriages such as different religion, traditions and culture, their family values and even the smallest things which you generally ignore like eating habits, lifestyle and dressing styles, etc. 

Try To Keep Your Parents Away From Those People Who Are Against Inter-Caste Marriage: If there is any family member, friend or relatives who are against the love marriage in that case you should keep your parents away from them as they might create problem. So, it is really important that you declare about your relationship to your parents at right time and especially when they are in good mood. This is really a serious and sensitive matter, so you should not take any chance while making the formal declaration.

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Ready for Arranged Marriage? Some Must Ask Questions for Your First Meeting

It is really not simple to choose your life partner when you are going for an arranged marriage. Being a girl it is more difficult to decide and make your decision. Every girl wants a life partner who will love her and make her feel special all the time. So, if you are also looking for a guy who will make you feel special and understand you as well in arranged marriage then you need to be a little more cautious while making your final decision. Meeting someone first time and taking the most important decision of your life can make you nervous. The most important part of wedding is your first meeting because in arranged marriage most of the people make their decisions based on their first meeting. Therefore, it becomes more important that you ask more relevant and important questions and try to understand the person well. Here are some important questions that a girl should ask to a guy in their first meeting. 

Are you ready for marriage?: When you are meeting a guy for the very first time, it is really important to ask is he ready for the marriage or he is taking this decision under pressure. If he is not ready for the marriage, then you will not be happy with him as he must not be ready for this big responsibility.

What are his career goals and future plans?: When you get married, you have to take care of many responsibilities including all financial matters. Therefore, it is really necessary that a guy should be financially independent and organized. So, he can plan for all big and small expenses in life and take care of all financial responsibilities with ease. You should ask him about his career goals and future plans to understand his career path. It will also help in understanding how ambitious he is about his career. His career ambitions will directly affect your future as well as your financial status. 

Is he comfortable with career oriented partner? If you are working women, then it might be that you will not like to leave your job after marriage as well. In such a situation, a conservative family will not allow you to work after marriage and prove disastrous with a lot of restrictions. However, there are many men who are very supportive when it comes to career of their life partner, but you need to be sure about this. You should ask this question in first meeting itself. So, before saying ‘yes’ you need to think about all possible situations. 

You responsibilities towards his family: When you are meeting him first time, it is not really possible that you will be able to know everything about him and his nature, but at least you should know that what are his expectations from his life partner? It is good that you ask him politely about his expectations from his life partner towards him and his family. This might also give you a clue whether they are conservative or open-minded. 

Is he comfortable with you taking responsibility of your parents?:  All the girls want to be close to their parents even after marriage as well. When you want to stay connected with your parents, then it is really important that your husband should also understand your point. In such situation, support and understanding are the two major qualities, which you should look forward in your life partner. Try to know his views and make sure that he will respect your parents and your responsibilities towards them after marriage. 

Does he want to relocate after marriage?: Nowadays, there is no assurance that you will stay in the same city for forever. It is not us, but our jobs that decide our location. So, if you want to stay in the same city or place where you are residing, then tell about your preferences in advance. In many situations, the guy might be staying in a different city and the parents are in other city, but sooner or later he decides to shift with his parents. Therefore, in that situation, are you ready to relocate or move to a different city with your husband after marriage.

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