Getting married to the love of your life is a great feeling,
but if your parents are against your decision in that case what will you do? In
India, most of the people believe and support arranged marriage and they
strongly oppose the concept of love marriage. People in India believe that a
relationship is something that should be negotiated between two families of the
same caste. But, it is not always possible that you will find someone whom you
love within your community. People still accept the love marriage within the community, but an inter-caste marriage is
total taboo in India. With the changing trends and changed lifestyle more and
more people are finding their love outside their caste. In that situation when
you know the whole world will be against your decision, what will you do to
convince your parents? The most important thing in inter-caste marriage is you
should strongly believe in your decision. Before telling this to your parents,
you should be well prepared about all type of questions and negative remarks as
well. Once you review or thought about answers for all possible questions or
concerns your parents might have and find out the possible answers, you can
easily counter argument for each.
First Discuss This
With Some Close Family Friend Or Relative: If you are really serious about
your relationship and you want to marry him/her then first discuss about your
relationship to someone close to your parents and family. It may be your younger
or elder brother or sister, uncle, grandparents, uncle, aunty or friend of you
father or mother. So, first of all observe your family members and find out
that supporter. Once you find that person and sure about that you can share
your secret and he/she will help you out in this matter, then without delay
share about your relationship. That person can play a very crucial role in
convincing your parents as per your needs.
Start Giving Direct
And Indirect Hints: Once you
identify the right person to share your secretive relation then take the next
step by giving direct or indirect hints to your parents. This is the second and
most important move. Start giving hints to your parents about your
relationship. You can tell them that now you are ready for marriage. You can
make them understand what exactly you are feeling and what are your
expectations? You should also tell them why you are in favor of love marriage and that you are not very
much convinced with arranged marriage.
You should tell your opinion to your parents. If your parents are not that
liberal in that case start giving them some clues about your relationship so
that when you actually tell them about your relationship they will not be in a
shocking situation.
Introduce Your
Parents To Your Partner At Some Public Gathering: This is another bold and
important step you should take to make your parents aware about your
relationship. It will help them to realize that there is someone in your life
and you really want to marry him/her. Before fixing their meeting, it is always
better that you tell your parents about your girlfriend/boyfriend in advance.
Tell them about his/her family background, education and other important
information to create a good image.
Start Indicating That
He/She Is Not Just A ‘Good Friend’: Once you introduce your parents,
intentionally do some things that can grab their attention and make them
understand that the girl/boy holds a special place in your life. They should
get this message that there is something serious between you two. Don’t miss a
single chance to tell your parents about his/her qualities and family
background and other important things. Take advantage of the situation and
don’t hesitate to tell your parents about the values and positive things about
your partner.
Find The Right Time To Tell Them
Upfront: There
are chances that after your indirect hints and disclosure your parents might
ask you about this relationship. But, if that doesn’t happen then find the
right time and appropriate time to tell your parents about your relationship.
Think about a time when your parents are in good mood and listen to you calmly.
It is even better if you ask the person to whom you have already discussed
about your relationship to come at your home when you disclose this. It is
better to keep your support with you at the time of conversation.
Stay Firm To Your Decision: If you have any doubt about your
relationship or about the future of your relationship then take some more time
to evaluate the things. But, if you are 100% sure about your relationship and
its future, then talk to your parents and tell them about your decision. Get
ready to listen to a lot of negative and not so good things about inter-caste
love marriages such as different religion, traditions and culture, their family
values and even the smallest things which you generally ignore like eating
habits, lifestyle and dressing styles, etc.
Try To Keep Your Parents Away
From Those People Who Are Against Inter-Caste Marriage: If there is any family member,
friend or relatives who are against the love
marriage in that case you should keep your parents away from them as they
might create problem. So, it is really important that you declare about your
relationship to your parents at right time and especially when they are in good
mood. This is really a serious and sensitive matter, so you should not take any
chance while making the formal declaration.
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